Things are going well, but we're more like business partners than husband and wife. We keep it together but it's like we're hardly even friends anymore. Life can turn into a grind, even for a great marriage.
Our fast-paced lives are perfectly capable of edging out every good intention we used to have.
Then we find ourselves months (years for many) down the road having survived, but also having missed the reason we thought we were doing all those things in the first place: to love each other and have a wonderful life together.
It may sound like a cliché but it isn’t: Lisa is my best friend. We have a lot of fun together, but no couple falls in a hole backwards and discovers they have a strong marriage.
Malcolm Gladwell wrote an excellent book entitled, Outliers, in which he describes the secret to the success of "gifted" people. What he learned goes something like this: They're not really gifted. They just work at it.
And that applies directly to marriage.
A happy marriage may look effortless but that's because you're looking at the snapshot instead of the feature-length movie.
Every close couple has made their relationship a priority over time. There are no exceptions.
If you desire to become closer to your spouse – to grow in friendship – you have to cultivate it. It won't happen by itself, especially in this busy life.
Here are some suggestions to help you regain your focus on friendship with the person you love.
1. Remind yourself of your true priority. Each other! It's basic, but it's vital. You don't work for your schedule. It works for the two of you.