When I was single, I was terrified I would never marry. But I was equally terrified I might marry the wrong person. If I married the wrong woman, I thought, I might end up with a wife who was subject to hormonal surges, occasional mood swings, weight fluctuations, bad habits, and bouts of irritability. She might not share all my interests or always get my humor. She might not like my music or always want to have sex. She might, you know – like, be human. And quite frankly, I wasn’t looking for a human; because so many of the humans I knew could barely stand to live together.
I figured if I was going to have a successful marriage, I needed a goddess – a woman who could keep me perpetually infatuated with her for the rest of my life. And just as importantly, I wanted a woman who saw me as a relatively flawless god. We would live our lives in mutual admiration and worshipful bliss until we passed away in our late 80s after a life of great sex and whatever else you did when you were married.
Reality to the Rescue
Shon and Beth Cunningham helped me grow into a more mature vision of marriage, and I'll be eternally grateful for it. When I was single, they invited me into their home and let me see their happy marriage grow through conflict, two kids, and several stressful moves. I witnessed a couple of breakdowns by Beth and saw Shon lose his cool. I saw messy bedrooms, got stressed out by child discipline, and watched kids eat food off the floor (at the encouragement of their parents).
But in the midst of all that, I also saw romance, intense loyalty, and a family that loved being together. I faced the reality that I feared; and eventually, I realized it wasn't so bad – in fact, Shon and Beth somehow made it look appealing.
How You Can Serve a Single Man
I think that if there were more couples like the Cunninghams, it would encourage more single men to marry with a realistic vision in mind. Young men have been raised on the airbrushed poison of Cosmo covers, action movie babes, and porn, all of which have warped their ability to see the beauty of a good, old-fashioned commitment to a real woman.