If you're like most people, you don't like to be wrong. You have in your head how you want things to be and, when they don't go your way, it's hard to see others' perspectives. This seems to be especially difficult when it comes to communicating with your spouse. Like most couples, we argue. We also work, together, however, on finding ways to avoid arguments. Here are five ways that we’ve found to diffuse an argument with your spouse.
1. Remember Your Relationship
When it comes time to listen to your spouse, go into the conversation remembering the relationship that you share. If the topic is a heavy one, or you know that you might feel defensive in some way, focus, not on the uncomfortable feelings, but instead on the connection that you share with the other person and how much you care for them. Remind yourself that they would never do anything to hurt you, just as you wouldn’t want to hurt them.
We work hard to remind one another each day of our connection. When going into one of those talks, we always start it with a quick kiss or "I love you." It helps us to take a step back and remember what's important before discussing the topic at hand.