What are the marks of a healthy sexual relationship? We began exploring this issue with an earlier post. These two blogs are written with a bit of pastoral concern: Lisa and I have met some wives (and the occasional husband) who felt tempted to compromise their faith and even their own sense of sanity because they realized after getting married that their spouse has some sexual hang-ups. At first, they thought the best thing to do was to “go along.” Going along with an unhealthy sexual practice never works; it just prolongs the inevitable crisis. Nursing an unhealthy inclination never makes things better; it just makes the way back a little longer and ultimately more difficult.
Seeking a healthy sexual relationship is a wise and holy pursuit and ultimately is even the best preserver of long-term happiness.
The last post (found here) listed these three markers of healthy marital sexuality.
- Christian sex is always relational sex.
- Christian sex supports a relationship rather than being the relationship.
- Christian sex confronts rather than perpetuates sexual brokenness
We’ll begin this month discussing number four.
4. Healthy Christian sexuality is about mutually shared pleasure; perverse sexuality is about numbing the pain with selfish indulgence.
Sex was created by God to (in part) produce offspring and renew intimacy between a husband and a wife. It offers a very pleasurable moment for husband and wife, helping them to cope with (and giving them a vacation from) mundane or difficult duties in life. It is also comforting, and naturally reduces anxiety. These are all wonderful byproducts of healthy marital sexuality.