It's easy to tell a woman to submit, or to tell a husband to love his wife as Christ loves the church, but it can be excruciating to live out. It's easy to throw these Bible verses around like the rock in David's sling hoping to knock down that Goliath of "My Way."
In a marriage, there's a lot of submission and a lot of loving that's supposed to be going on. But who wants to serve, who wants to sacrifice, who wants to lay down their life for another? Who wants to humble themselves for the good of another human?
The answer: Jesus Christ.
I remember when submission was first presented to me as something I must do in order to be obedient and godly. I kicked against it. Because it wasn't taught to me through the gospel, all I could see was subjugation. I had all kinds of arguments to throw against it; you just couldn't talk to me about submission.
How can you talk to a person about submission when they don't have a good grasp of the Godhead and are hazy minded about who God is?
Who God Is
We can't fully comprehend the beauty of headship and submission until we have a sober understanding of who God is: the true God, the Triune God ... Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
It is never wise to start with what is required of man. We must start with who God is, proceed to what he has done and only then can we coherently speak to what is required of us. It is at these junctures where we find out just how important it is for us all to understand the doctrine of the trinity.
What brought me to faithful submission to my husband was not a "how to be a better wife" book. It was an understanding of the person and cross work of Christ. It was the gospel being pressed into every corner of my being.
[Read the rest of the article at Desiring God.]