How to Make Your Marriage a Priority When You Have Small Children

I have a question for you. On your relationship priority list, who's #2 after God? Your spouse or your kids? For me, it's my husband Ted.

Not too long ago I wrote about this in an article titled, "I'm 49% Mother and 51% Wife – And It Has to Be That Way." Within hours of it publishing, it became clear to me that this idea of marriage before kids is a divisive one. In the comments I received (primarily on Facebook), there really was no middle ground. There were the "I completely agree with you" people and the "I can't believe you'd put the needs of a grown man before a child" people.

But what caught my attention as I read people's thoughts were the questions. The ones from wives who desperately wanted to make their relationship with their husband a priority, but weren't sure how to do it on a day-to-day, practical basis. Specifically those with young children.

As someone who's spent the majority of my twelve years of marriage with one or more kids in diapers, I get it. After all, how do you make your marriage a priority when you're nursing babies, chasing toddlers, sleep deprived, and only showering twice a week?

For Ted and me, it was a process of learning as we went. What did we discover? Well, here are three practical ways we managed to keep our marriage in the #2 spot when we had small children.

1. Make Time Together Daily

It's easy to default to a "Let's try to find time for our marriage" mentality. Here's the thing, though: There will always be something or someone clamoring for your attention. Whether it's dishes, laundry, or a two-year-old. So stop waiting until you can find time. Instead, actively make time together, even if it's as little as 10 minutes here and there.

[You can finish reading the rest of this article at For the Family. Click here.]