Fights come naturally, you were born to fight. It is time to stop being surprised that you and the people you love are inclined to fight. Since the Garden, we all have a part of Cain embedded in us. So the question is not why do you fight, but how can you stop fighting. Here is at least one answer: consider others, especially the ones you are fighting with, as more important than yourself. That is always your first thought when you fight, right? You automatically consider the other person more important than you are. The reason this sounds awkward and uncomfortable is because you are more willing to listen to the voice of Cain rather than the voice of Christ!
Paul says you are to consider others as having more value that yourself (Philippians 2:3). So in a a fight, in a verbal conflict how does this work? Here are some practical steps to take.
1. Keep quiet.
It is difficult to fight, to argue if you keep your mouth shut.
"Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions." (Proverbs 18:2)
2. Don't interrupt.
Stop interrupting, both with your mouth and with your mind. The voice of interruption is the voice of Cain. Hear carefully what is being said.
"If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame." (Proverbs 18:13)