How to Know If You Have Listened Well

Proverbs 18:13 says, "He who answers before listening, that is his folly and shame." One major obstacle to being a good listener is assuming we know what the speaker means by what he is saying. We then assign our own interpretation to the words we hear, thinking (or acting as if) we understand what is truly being said. This manner of "listening" will lead to trouble. Sometimes our assumptions are accurate, but more often they are not. Answering based on assumptions leads to communication that is not productive and, therefore, to difficulty in relationships. Exchanges like this are all too common:

"You are not listening to me!"

"What do you mean I am not listening to you! I heard what you said, and I don't like it one bit."

Here is one effective strategy for combating unhelpful assumptions. Repeat back to the speaker what you think you heard them say and mean. If you have listened faithfully, you should be able to recount what the other person said so that the speaker confirms that you have accurately heard the intention behind his or her words. This does not necessarily mean that you agree with the speaker; however, the speaker can know that, at the least, you have clearly understood what was said.

[Read the rest of the article at Shepherd Press.]