As we all know, life can change at the drop of a dime. A sudden move, a new baby, a tragic loss, or a job promotion can change our lives in ways that we never anticipate. But even through all the changes, life goes on. However sometimes, as life moves forward, we find ourselves unsure of how to handle our marriage as we enter the newest season. We have found ourselves facing many changes over the last 14 years of our marriage. Many of them have been monumental: having three children, losing two children, becoming an active duty military family, enduring 5 year-long deployments, moving to many states and a foreign country. Yet through it all, we've managed to love one another.
Marriage is not an easy relationship to manage. However, if there are two willing parties, marriage can thrive in the midst of whatever changes life may bring. Although we are unable to control what happens to us on a daily basis, we are able to control our choices and reactions to the circumstances.
Whenever we encounter a new season of life and are tempted to neglect choosing to walk in love with one another, we do our best to complete these steps:
Hold the Tongue
This is something that we've learned to do -- particularly when emotions are running high as we are attempting to adjust to a new change. This is a very effective way to eliminate cutting one another with ugly words, and it definitely helps with damage control. One scripture we always use to weigh our words is Ephesians 4:29, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (NIV).