Lessons Learned

lessonlearnedmainMy husband once made a comment to me about how I "hate" the cowlick he wakes up with every morning on the back of the left side of his head (notice I specified exactly where it is). I was slightly offended. Hate? It seems like a strong word to apply to something so insignificant. But I could see how he would feel as though I strongly disapprove.

Every morning, as the prominent hair comes into view, I find my hands up there tugging, patting and prodding before I am even aware of it (let's be honest, am I really accountable for my actions before I've had my coffee?). At first I didn't know why his comment bothered me so much. As I thought about it, I realized that the reason I have such a hard time with his cowlick is because I feel personally involved with my husband's hair. Personally involved, you say? Yes. As sole cutter of his stick straight, thick and bushy hair, I feel a personal responsibility to it. If there is something out of place, I feel accountable to try my hardest to fix it. However, sometimes, the harder I try to fix it, the worse it becomes. You see where I'm going with this? Take note, dear one, that this article was formerly entitled "Lessons Learned From My Husband's Hair."

Lesson #1: The cowlick won't lie down unless water is applied.

No matter how much I pull, adjust, trim or flatten, that cowlick is just not going to lie down. I know it doesn't belong there, and so does my husband. My husband can try to fix it on his own or I can try to fix it for him. Since we both know it isn't going to change of our own accord, the constant poking, rearranging and reminding only leads to frustration on both of our parts. What we have seen is that if we leave it alone until he takes a shower, the full outpouring and submersion of his hair in the water will render that cowlick defenseless.

And He, when (the Holy Spirit) comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment. (John 16:8)

Sometimes we, as husbands and wives, try so hard to "fix" our spouses that the only thing it causes in our relationship is division. There are some imperfections, addictions or scars that only the Holy Spirit can convict and heal. It is by continually taking our concerns to the Lord and seeking his answer that we will know when is the right time to help, and when is the right time to leave that imperfection to the outpouring of the Holy Spirit.

[Read the rest of the article at Start Marriage Right.]