Many people suffer from chronic illness, some visible and some not. As one who suffers from several chronic illnesses, I can honestly tell you it is difficult to be married to me. Some days are good, some are really good. Some days are bad ... and others worse. You never know how you’re going to feel from day to day, or even hour to hour. Being married to a person with a chronic illness is not much fun. It’s really taking the “in sickness and health” vow to the extreme. I’m not trying to compare my chronic illnesses, which are minor in the grand scheme of things, to a spouse who has lived through ALS or cancer with their husband or wife, but there are days I feel like my husband got the raw end of the deal.
Did he really mean to sign up for this?
Is he sure he wants to stick around and deal with this the rest of our lives?
He assures me he did and that he’s not going any where, but I still can’t help but wonder what his life must be like from day to day. Never knowing what “condition” I will be in by the time he comes home from work. Never knowing whether or not this trip to the hospital will be a week-long stay. It’s not easy being married to me – someone with chronic illnesses. These few reminders have helped us through some tough times over the last few years.
8 Ways to Love Your Spouse with Chronic Illness
Pray for your spouse and for your marriage. A chronic illness is something that will stretch the limits of your patience and test the boundaries of your love. It isn’t easy and it won’t just “go away,” so you need to pray. Pray for your spouse as they maneuver the difficulties of the illness, and pray that you will know just how to love them through it all.
2. Communication is Key
This goes for marriage in general, but especially when the spouse has a chronic illness. Their level of activity can vary greatly from day to day. Their level of comfort in those activities will vary greatly as well. Talk about EVERYTHING. This is the most important thing I can tell you. Talk about sex. It won’t be easy, but it is necessary. Regardless of what your spouse says, they need sex. They want you. But running from the issue because it’s hard will only strain your relationship and tear you apart.