It was grade nine. There was one minute left in the game, and I was standing there holding the ball. Pivoting on one foot, I had a decision to make, do I go for the basket myself in hopes of winning the game for our team? Or do I throw it to Stacy who was frantically waving to get my attention? I threw it to Stacy, who dribbled her way to the hoop, and with one final swoop it was over. The victory was ours, and the limelight was hers. I could dribble, steal, pass and pivot alright, but when it came to shooting hoops I was lacking the height and the skill. That's where my teammates came in.
Teamwork was essential to playing basketball -- I knew that. What I know now is that it's also essential to marriage.
But there's something else that's important. It's a highly effective habit, and it's one that will strengthen any marriage when put into practice.
What is it? It's pivoting. The right way, at the right time.
We all have needs, husbands and wives alike, but we don't always spell those needs out. Sometimes they're nothing more than a gesture, a question or a lighthearted suggestion. A good spouse not only listens to the needs of the other, they also turn their attention toward them instead of away.
Michael called home the other day to ask what we were having for dinner. I was polite, but I wasn't my usual keep-him-on-the-line self. I just wasn't having the best day and it was getting to me.
About five minutes after hanging up the phone he called back, "Is everything okay?" he asked. "I got the feeling that something is bothering you."
He could have waited until he got home to ask me, but instead he turned his attention toward me right then and there.