“Oversharing” has taken on a whole new meaning in a social media world. Think about it: How often are the subjects of your posts things that would have never been seen or discussed if not for a social media platform to tempt you to instantly share? Before Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, how often did you snap and share pictures of what’s for dinner, show all of your friends the epic kid-produced mess you just mopped up, or pass along that hilarious photo that made you laugh out loud to your entire contact list? (By the way, I’m guilty of all of the above!)
That’s just the tip of the oversharing iceberg. Although much of the oversharing is innocent, it’s getting to a point where almost nothing is off limits to share with the hundreds of “friends” who get a constant, up-close and personal look into our daily lives.
The more we feel comfortable making the most mundane moments into a public spectacle, the more likely we are to impulsively share things that expose our most intimate relationships. This lack of restraint can be especially damaging to a marriage.
How can we resist the urge to overshare about our spouse? Even if you leave your oversharing off Facebook, are you still exposing too much about your marriage to outsiders in conversation? And when you’re genuinely seeking advice, how much is too much to share with others?
Two Become One Flesh
God’s Word makes it clear that one man and one woman become one flesh in a marriage. From the establishment of marriage in Genesis to the teachings of Jesus and discipling letters from the Apostle Paul, we are told that a married couple has left their individual status and birth family behind to become one new entity, one flesh (Gen. 2:24, Mark 10:8, Ephesians 5:31).
What does this have to do with oversharing about your spouse? Simply put, oversharing about your spouse (especially when it’s negative) to people outside your relationship is an act of separating yourself from him. You’re singling him out for shallow laughs, outside scrutiny, or even reproach. If you are one entity, then you’re really exposing both you and your husband — the entity of your one-flesh marriage — to any consequences from what you’re sharing. And when one of you is hurt, you both hurt.