For many husbands, a conversation about romance is like being in a foreign country and trying to ask someone on the street where the nearest bathroom is. It's embarrassing and awkward. But maybe your husband writes love poems to you like this?
She walks in beauty, like the night Of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that's best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes
Neither does Lisa's! Truth is, that guy is pretty rare.
Not that I haven't tried, but the effort often feels like I'm sitting in a cave wearing animal skins and grunting while earnestly striking two rocks together, hoping for a spark.
Many husbands feel like cavemen when it comes to romance – even the husbands who are attentive to these things. Just glance at the expression of the guy packing a bouquet of flowers through a busy mall. He's trying to mask his suspicion that everyone thinks he’s goofy – even as practically every woman he passes wishes flowers were waiting for her at home. That's how dicey this whole enterprise is!
Attempts at romance are dangerous business. Why? Romance exposes the vulnerability of the most confident man. Vulnerability and men don't go together so well.
What will she think of my stupid little poem? ... of this awkward note? ...of these flowers ... did I even get the right kind? Probably not.
Most men want to be good, loving husbands and wives play a vital role in their growth in this area. The spark of romance lay not only in the fledgling efforts of a tentative, untrained husband but also in the response of a wife, willing to receive from an imperfect effort what she truly desires.