When someone attacks you, particularly someone close to you, your first response is likely self-protection. If it is, things will go from bad to worse. For example, your 14 year-old says:
"All you care about is your stupid rules! You care about your rules more than you do about me! Thanks, a lot for not caring."
You feel hurt, disrespected and defensive. Your child is unable to appreciate the good you are trying to do. The defensive, natural response is to tell your teenager how wrong they are. Your teenager responds by thinking you just proved her point. Things quickly go downhill from here!
Nothing less than wisdom from above can address this breakdown. The Holy Spirit describes wisdom from above this way:
"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." James 3:17-18