Biblical discipline has to do with love and delight, not primarily accountability and control. Biblical discipline is not about fairness, it is about mercy. Biblical discipline is not about treating children as their sins deserve. Would you really ask God to treat you as your sins deserve? If you don't want God to treat you with fairness, then don't make fairness the standard of your parenting. How much of the wonder and mercy of biblical discipline do you communicate to your children? Stay with me here! I am not advocating laissez faire parenting or child centered discipline. The truth is you only have hope because God does not treat you as your sins deserve. This is the gospel message of the cross. This liberating message often gets lost in the language of parenting.
Following Hebrews 12 and Proverbs 3, parental authority is to be administered with loving discipline. Discipline is not justice. Discipline is not retribution. Justice and retribution have to do with judgment and hell, not parenting.