There Is No Shame in Loss: On Miscarriages and Announcements

I stink at announcing pregnancies to my husband. Both times, I have come out of the bathroom, stick in hand, shocked look on my face, and burst into tears. The first time, I cried because we'd been married a grand total of five weeks and now we were already parents. The second time, it was because, just nine months before, I felt the life I'd been carrying slip away from me before my baby even had a name.

Both times, my husband hugged me, assured he was happy to be a daddy, and shepherded me through all of the emotions that come from early motherhood. The second time, though, was littered with the emotional minefields of early motherhood after a loss. And one of the biggest questions on my mind in these formative days has been, When should we tell people?

People Pleaser

Now, before the reader decries me as a self-absorbed Millennial whose only thought is how I appear on social media, let me explain: With our last pregnancy, we shouted it from the rooftops at a whopping five weeks. Our dating was off, and we thought we were seven weeks, but however you spin it, we spat it out earlier than the norm. Our logic was that we wanted to give honor to the life growing inside of me as soon as possible. Even though we knew the risk of miscarriage, we wanted to proclaim, through any potential pain, that a beautiful work had begun (Psalm 139:1).

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