We've all heard why marriages are falling apart: communication problems. Your wife didn't give you a timeline when she left to run errands. Your husband would rather watch T.V. than talk to you. Maybe you punished the kids differently and forgot to compare notes. We as a culture have not only accepted, but embraced the concept of communication as the single most important part of marriage, and indeed most of life. Talk constantly about your feelings. Happiness and success will follow.
Contrary to popular belief, I do not see communication as a mark of character. I worry that idolizing communication, recommending it as the cure-all for marriage issues, belittles and places blame on the spouse who is shy, quiet, or decisive.
Don't get me wrong -- I believe in communication. I am a professional editor. I get paid not only to communicate, but also to perfect other people’s written communication. I have seen first hand how much smoother my workplace runs when the right people get the right information at the right time.
But I can't imagine treating my husband like I do my coworkers. I can't imagine having a paper checklist for my family.
[Read the rest of the article at Start Marriage Right.]