A while ago we wrote a post highlighting 8 things that you should never say to your spouse. The post went viral and was read by over 100,000 people the first two days after publication. And we know why: Because words hurt. And even when we love our spouse, because of our propensity to sin, we still hurt them even when we try not to. Today we want to talk a little bit more about what to do when your words hurt your marriage. What if you have already said many damaging things? What if you try not to say mean things but they still keep coming out? What if you find yourself actually trying to hurt your spouse (or others) with your words, but don't know why? These are the hard questions we are going to delve into today. We hope that you will find these words insightful and a bit of hope to cling onto as you fight your way out of hurting and into healing and loving.
What to Do When Your Words Hurt Your Marriage
1. Accept It
One of the best things you can do to try and change the way you speak to your spouse is accept any wrongdoing and hurt your words have caused. We speak from experience when we say that we have both had to accept the fact that our harsh words have hurt each other many, many times. It wasn’t until we accepted this fact that we began to start rebuilding our words and our marriage.
Sometimes the word apologize can be seen as an "easy way out" when it comes to relationships. We aren’t talking about that kind of apologizing. No, we are talking about the gut-wrenching, soul-cleansing apology that can only come from a true position of humility and understanding of the wrong doing that has been done. Harsh words do cause damage and the least we can do when we have hurt our spouse (or any loved ones for that matter) is take a hard look at the ugly inside of us that made those words come out.
3. Don't Blame Your Spouse
We know that there are many, many relationship issues in this world that drive people to do many different things – speaking harsh words is one of them. But the truth is, it isn't your spouse's fault you spoke the unkind words. The unkind words you spoke came out of your mouth, not their mouth.