Why Pre-Marital Counseling Is Not Enough

A couple in our church recently got engaged. Knowing that my husband and I have experience doing pre-marital counseling with soon-to-be married couples, they approached us to ask if we would meet with them. Before we could even schedule a time, the bride-to-be spoke up: “I have a question. Why do we only do this after couples get engaged? Why is there no such thing as pre-engagement counseling?”

She makes a good point. My forehead scrunched as I thought hard about her question. Why don’t we offer pre-engagement counseling?

Pre-Engagement Counseling

Imagine all of the heartache and turmoil that could be avoided if dating or courting couples sought out a structured mentoring relationship with an older married couple.

Imagine how helpful it would be to work through some key marital issues, learn about opinions and convictions, and have intentional discussions before the ring is on the finger.

Maybe you’re already engaged or married, and you’re thinking it’s too late. If that’s the case, use your knowledge and experience to bless another couple in an earlier stage of their relationship.

Look around and see who you could approach about getting together to chat before the guy bends down on one knee. You don’t have to have a counseling degree to be a positive, godly influence.

Consider going through a book with another couple. Set aside an hour a week to read and discuss together. See how you might be able to invest in another couple’s relationship. By doing so, you may be surprised just how much it strengthens your own.

Post-Marital Counseling

Besides the idea of pre-engagement counseling and the more widely practiced pre-marital counseling, what about post-marital counseling?

[You can finish reading the rest of this article at Start Marriage Right. Click here.]