Being spontaneous is great... "Hey Babe, let’s go grab a bite to eat at..."
"Let's jump in the car and visit..."
"How about we..?"
But the planned, thoughtful evening out where all the details are handled, so all she has to do is get ready, says so much more.
And, that's a message her radar is always scanning for: How important to him am I ... really? She knows, innately, she has the right to be cherished by you.
If you're like me, you're thinking, "Yeah, I do that pretty well. Of course, I love my wife."
So, why is she saying (again) something like, "Why don't you want to spend time with me? Why am I not important to you? Why do you have time for everyone else?"
You'd think after over twenty years of marriage I'd have it down to a science, but I still need to be reminded. Lisa wants to know I've taken the time to value her though planned, purposeful "couple time." She has never stopped desiring to be pursued by me.
I'll go out on a limb here: You're wife wants to be pursued, too.
Our wives never stop wanting to be the object of our desire, no matter how many years have passed.
As if it was yesterday, I still remember Lisa pulling out the calendar to prove to me what I didn't believe until I saw it in black and white. We hadn't "just gone out" as I had been saying. It had been over a month. I was amazed. Really? More than a month? I meant well, I really did ... do I get "points" for that?