When nothing seems to be going right, do you find it easier to pass the buck and not take a look in the mirror? If so, you're like most people, us included! No one likes to discover that they may not be correct and to identify room where they have to grow. That being said, we have found that placing blame on your spouse can quickly drain the energy and passion from your marriage. Here is why we avoid the blame game in marriage.
Why We Avoid the Blame Game in Marriage
Each of us experiences stress and anxiety from time to time. When we get frustrated, our brains seem to jump to conclusions about what our spouse could have done to have made the situation better; maybe he/she should have helped more around the house or worked a bit harder. When things don't go right at home or work, it can sometimes be hard to admit that you had a role in what happened. Taking a careful look at the cause of the problem may help you to identify that the source is something over which you had control. Once you make this discovery, you are in the driver’s seat for taking responsibility, rather than placing blame.
One step that you can take to avoid blaming your spouse is to make a list of worries as soon as they pop into your head. Include notes on the problem: impact at home, what it means for careers, etc. Then process the source of the issue and make note of it. Once you have that visual in front of you, you will be reminded that, despite your spouse's presence in the home during your frustration, he/she is not the source of the problem and is there to support you, not to be your scapegoat.
The Blame Game Will Drain Passion from Your Marriage
Just as you don't like to realize that you were wrong, your spouse doesn't enjoy being told that he/she is the source of all problems that you experience. When we are put in a constant state of defense and feeling as though we are being blamed for things we have not done, it's difficult to feel romantic and passionate about the person causing those feelings. Over time, the impact that this has on your marriage can be significant, causing a great deal of harm to the bond that you've created. Avoiding the blame game will prevent the drain of romance, making for a more passionate and loving relationship.