Do you find you text your spouse more than you talk? Do you send emojis in lieu of real live kisses?
Although texts can certainly be used to strengthen a marriage relationship (and to help your spouse find you in the crowd), too much texting can erode a relationship one character at a time. When it comes to serious conversations, disagreements, or daily connections, texting alone doesn’t cut it.
A study conducted at Brigham Young University found that being constantly connected through technology can create some disconnects in couples. You’ve probably experienced this firsthand if you’ve ever been in a restaurant, seated opposite of a texting spouse.
Here are a few highlights of the report:
For women: Using text messages to apologize, work out differences or make decisions is associated with lower relationship quality
For men: Too frequent texting is associated with lower relationship quality
For all: Expressing affection via text enhances the relationship
Many of the couples surveyed don’t just text “Where do u want to go 4 lunch?” They use texting for relationship maintenance, something that really should happen face to face in daily conversation.
You can send a quick text to apologize if you forgot to bring in the trash can. But a quick text to apologize if you had a heated argument in the morning won’t fix it. To really apologize effectively, you’ve got to admit your wrongdoing, attempt to make restitution, repent, and ask for forgiveness.