Why Too Much Texting Disconnects Couples

Do you find you text your spouse more than you talk? Do you send emojis in lieu of real live kisses?

Although texts can certainly be used to strengthen a marriage relationship (and to help your spouse find you in the crowd), too much texting can erode a relationship one character at a time. When it comes to serious conversations, disagreements, or daily connections, texting alone doesn’t cut it.

A study conducted at Brigham Young University found that being constantly connected through technology can create some disconnects in couples. You’ve probably experienced this firsthand if you’ve ever been in a restaurant, seated opposite of a texting spouse.

Here are a few highlights of the report:

For women: Using text messages to apologize, work out differences or make decisions is associated with lower relationship quality

For men: Too frequent texting is associated with lower relationship quality

For all: Expressing affection via text enhances the relationship

Many of the couples surveyed don’t just text “Where do u want to go 4 lunch?” They use texting for relationship maintenance, something that really should happen face to face in daily conversation.

You can send a quick text to apologize if you forgot to bring in the trash can. But a quick text to apologize if you had a heated argument in the morning won’t fix it. To really apologize effectively, you’ve got to admit your wrongdoing, attempt to make restitution, repent, and ask for forgiveness.

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