December 7th & Peace on Earth

December 11, 2012 by Shepherd Press

Peace is a common theme of the Christmas season. However, as conflicts continue to rage across the planet, peace appears to be little more than an elusive ideal. December 7th is a painful reminder that war and not peace is the legacy of mankind. Still people search for peace. Each Christmas renews the longing for peace on earth. But this sort of “Peace on Earth” is not the message of the angels, instead it is the message of Christmas Cards. Let’s look at what the angels actually said to the shepherds:

Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”

The angels knew that man is at war with God, not only as nations but more importantly as individuals. Romans 5:10 and Ephesians 2:3 tell us we are all born enemies of God and objects of the wrath of God! Imagine being at war with God and being singled out as an object of his wrath. And this is exactly the case. So, the angels proclamation speaks to the only possible resolution of the conflict between God and each person who has ever lived on earth. You see we are not mere spectators in the ongoing war with God, we are active combatants.

Sometimes, we look at this war with God as if we were watching the evening news reporting on a battle in a distant country. But this is not the case. You and I are by nature, enemies of God, his Son, and his Spirit. Our lives are the battlefield. Your children are not exempt from this war. They, too, are born the enemy of God. It does not take rocket theology to figure out that if this is true, each person has a huge, awful problem – he is at war with the Lord of the Universe! This is the war and the peace that the angels spoke about.

This is the good news of great joy. The baby born in Bethlehem would end this conflict. Those for whom he died would no longer be at war with God. Through the blood of the Christ child we can have peace because Christ has made the favor of God to rest upon sinners.

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Thought for the Lord’s Day – Heart Music

December 10, 2012 by Shepherd Press

Heart Music

Worship is centered in the heart. Paul says that the word of Christ is to dwell in your heart, your inmost being. We know that God is not interested in sharing heart space with anyone or anything other than himself. A heart where the splendor of God shares space with the worries of life is a heart that will be hindered in its ability to worship. As you teach and admonish your children, God commands that his music is to play in your heart. Colossians 3:16 is not a suggestion, it is a command that we need so that we can prioritize our life and thoughts. Ignoring this command is just as destructive as ignoring the command not to steal.

When you engage in corporate worship, when you engage in day-to-day worship the word of Christ is to dominate your worship. His music is to lead you to gratitude for his constant mercy. So, if you find that God appears distant to you, in whatever the circumstance, ask yourself this question. Whose music is playing in your heart – God’s or your own?

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

The Government & Christmas

December 7, 2012 by Shepherd Press

Roman emperors ruled with unquestioned authority. Their word was enough to upend the lives of people all around the ancient Mediterranean world. Like most leaders in history, Caesar Augustus gave no thought that his orders would serve the purposes of the living God. Caesar wanted to record the vastness of his empire. He had no clue his orders would bring about the fulfillment of biblical prophecy. His decree would serve the eternal decree of the true King.

God’s ways are not our ways. Things are not as we think. 2,000 years ago it was not evident that Caesar’s order would result in the first Christmas. As Nebuchadnezzar realized no one can hold back the hand of God. Here is something else you can encourage your family with this Christmas season – our God does what he pleases!

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register. Luke 2:1-3

Are You Santa’s Helper?

December 6, 2012 by Shepherd Press

Little children are dependent upon their parents for everything. This includes more than just food, clothing and shelter. Children are also dependent upon their parents for how they view the world. The way you live in front of children is the most powerful teaching tool that God gives you. God designed families to demonstrate what it means to have a relationship with Him. If you love God, if you sincerely attempt to live your life by His Word, if you recognize that every moment is given to you so that you will glorify and honor God, then by example, you will teach your children these same truths.

Your children know everything about you. They see when you are sleeping, they know when you have been good or bad, they know when you pout and when you shout. In the midst of the turmoil of life your children know whom you delight in. Your kids know all of this without your ever having to say a word. When you stumble and ask God for help — they learn. When you stumble and snap or make excuses — they learn from that, too. If you value your relationship with God above all else, your children will know this, even when you fall short of your calling as a Christian parent.

What does this have to do with being Santa’s helper? Just this: in Psalm 72:18 we read that “God alone does marvelous things.” However, at Christmas time, for little children someone else is portrayed as doing the most marvelous things. Santa brings the toys! Not just any toys, but toys that come in brightly wrapped boxes under a colorful, sparkling tree. These toys have been longed for, prayed for, craved for, hoped for, and wished for. This longing has gone on for months if not years. The goodness of Santa is confirmed by the tag on the present: From Santa. Amid the pile of wrappings, bows and empty boxes, happy children know they have been adorned. When I was a child we left milk and cookies for Santa each Christmas Eve before we went to bed. And sure enough, when my brothers and I bolted out of bed to head for the tree, the milk and cookies were gone. But in their place were presents and full stockings. Santa was for real!

So there is no question that children who experience this visit from Santa feel adorned. Yet this adornment is clearly of the material sort. The children don’t really know “Santa.” But they may actually know his helpers, as I did as a child. His helpers? Why Mom and Dad of course! When Mom and Dad help Santa, good things happen. Toys pour down from the chimney and appear under the tree.

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Drugs – Loving Your Teenagers Enough to Notice

December 5, 2012 by Shepherd Press

Proverbs 18:15 teaches that the ears of the wise seek out knowledge. In other words, not everything that you need to know as a parent will be handed to you on a silver platter, wrapped in a bright warning label that says “Danger, check this out”. Sometimes the warning signs are subtle. Thus, they can easily get lost in hectic pace of life. Drug use in teens often fits into this category. Not treating your teenagers as their sins deserve can also mean being proactive and heading off potential problems before they become life dominating.

I have asked my good friend and fellow elder, Richie Batson, to provide some things that parents can look for to catch the early stages of drug activity. Richie is a pharmacist who is well qualified to address this concern. Following are some things to look for that he compiled to answer my question.

Warning signs of teen drug abuse

“Experimental” use does not always lead to abuse and addiction, but early use is a serious concern and can lead to abuse and addiction. Parents should be aware of common indicators of illicit use and abuse. In order for parents to recognize these indicators, they need to pay attention and have some level of interaction with their teen.

Having bloodshot eyes or dilated/contracted pupils; using eye drops to try to mask these signs.
Skipping class; declining grades; suddenly getting into trouble at school.
Missing money, valuables, or prescriptions.
Acting uncharacteristically isolated, withdrawn, angry, or depressed.
Dropping one group of friends for another; being secretive about the new peer group.
Loss of interest in old hobbies; lying about new interests and activities.
Demanding more privacy; locking doors; avoiding eye contact; sneaking around.

Warning Signs of Commonly Abused Drugs

Marijuana: Glassy, red eyes; loud talking, inappropriate laughter followed by sleepiness; loss of interest, motivation; weight gain or loss.
Depressants (including Oxycontin, Lortab/Vicodin, Xanax, Valium, GHB): Contracted pupils; drunk-like; difficulty concentrating; clumsiness; poor judgment; slurred speech; sleepiness.
Stimulants (including amphetamines, cocaine, crystal meth): Dilated pupils; hyperactivity; euphoria; irritability; anxiety; mood swings; excessive talking followed by depression or excessive sleeping at odd times; may go long periods of time without eating or sleeping; weight loss; dry mouth and nose.
Inhalants (glues, aerosols, vapors): Watery eyes; impaired vision, memory and thought; secretions from the nose or rashes around the nose and mouth; headaches and nausea; appearance of intoxication; drowsiness; poor muscle control; changes in appetite; anxiety; irritability; lots of cans/aerosols in the trash.
Hallucinogens (LSD, PCP): Dilated pupils; bizarre and irrational behavior including paranoia, aggression, hallucinations; mood swings; detachment from people; absorption with self or other objects, slurred speech; confusion.
Heroin: Contracted pupils; no response of pupils to light; needle marks; sleeping at unusual times; sweating; vomiting; coughing, sniffling; twitching; loss of appetite.

What to about lying – age specific

December 4, 2012 by Shepherd Press

What to about lying – age specific

Following the model in Shepherding a Child’s Heart about the way to engage children at various age levels is important. With young children you want to firmly establish the authority of God and his directives not to lie. This is the time to establish that lying is wrong because God says it is. Lying is not serving God, and life will not go well for the liar. This is not a time for extensive reasoning and deep introspection. God hates lying, and it must be rejected. Swift, direct and loving discipline is appropriate. Lying is not a stage that will be naturally left behind. If not biblically addressed, lying will become a way of life. See Proverbs 12:19,22

With children in the second age category (ages 5-12), you must begin to appeal to the conscience. Lying is definitely not a character trait you want encourage. Tedd Tripp points out that Nathan the prophet appealed to the conscience of David with the story of the poor man who had had his lamb taken from him. David responded in anger at this outrage. But his outrage was turned to broken repentance as Nathan told him that he was the man. This sort of appeal takes wisdom and understanding of your children. Nathan carefully selected an illustration that would have the greatest impact upon King David. You must choose your illustrations with understanding of what will impact your own children. Help them to see that their lie will not bring true peace. If a child in this age range lies, something is troubling him. Find out what that is. Do not focus only on the actual lie. What is it that drives this child to believe that a lie will best serve him? Perhaps he is afraid that he will be treated harshly. Perhaps he will say he doesn’t care what his parents think, when in reality he cares so deeply what they think that he is afraid for them to know that. Whatever the issue is, take the time to work this out with your child. The lie is often a symptom of a deeper underlying problem, possibly a broken relationship that you have overlooked.

For teenagers, lying is often about keeping parents out of their lives. Consequences may be feared. There may be embarrassment or fear that parents will find out secret sins such as pornography. There may be the fear that parents will not allow teenagers to do what they want if they tell the truth. For teenagers, the gospel must be internalized. If a teenager who is a Christian lies, he has lost sight of the power of the gospel to bring healing. If the teenager is not a Christian, then whatever it takes to make the gospel central must be embraced. Again, take the time to know your teenager. I know that it is possible that your teenager may not appear to be interested in being known. However, you must make this a priority. Your child needs to know Christ.

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What to do about Lying

December 3, 2012 by Shepherd Press

Children’s lies are a harsh reminder of the nature of sin. To fully appreciate the immense power and value of the cross in our lives, we must have a profound sense of the ugliness of sin. This awareness must extend to your children as well. My children and your children come into this world as natural enemies of God. Telling the truth and avoiding deceit is not natural for them. They seek first and foremost to gratify their own passions and desires, even if it means that others will be harmed. They are by nature children of wrath. As the Psalmist & Paul say:

Even from birth the wicked go astray; from the womb they are wayward and speak lies. Psalm 58:3

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience —among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. Ephesians 2:1-3

You must be conscious of the reality of sin in your parenting. Your children are accountable to God. This thought does not sit well with the world, particularly the world as it pertains to the nature of children. G. Stanley Hall, a pioneer in the field of child psychology, described lies as an expression of a child’s mytho-poetic capabilities. Our culture assumes children are from birth.

You will not find support from the world around you for the idea that children are objects of wrath. But that doesn’t change reality. Recognizing the true nature of a baby is one of the great tests of faith. I have never been so blown away as I was when seeing each of my five children for the first time. Babies outwardly evoke hope and joy and the promise of a new life. But the reality is that these precious children are in fact children of wrath. Their hope, even though they don’t recognize it at birth, is that faithful parents will proclaim to them the glorious gospel of God’s grace which alone can transform them into children of the King.

So, in a sense you should not be shocked when children lie. You must not be falsely romantic and think that somehow your child is immune to the ugliness of sin. In reality, your child was born to lie!. So, what do you do to confront the lies that your children will tell?

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Lying to God

December 1, 2012 by Shepherd Press

In one sense all lies are lies to God. However, as the passage below shows, there is a particular type of lie that qualifies specifically as lying to God. This is “lying on steroids.” Often, this lie is not only about hiding things that are wicked, but about misrepresenting things that appear to be good, even righteous. This is where the greatest danger lies for children raised in Christian homes. That is why your parenting must go beyond addressing behavior.

“Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet.

Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied to men but to God.” Acts 5:1-4

Here is an example of how this pattern of lying to God starts. One sibling sees that his sister is rewarded for cleaning. So, he is careful to inform his mom that he also helped, even if he did not actually do anything. This child realizes that he can achieve what he wants if his parents only perceive that he is doing good things. Thus, he might participate by appearing to be busy, but only when mom is looking. Internally, he may be resentful of even having to appear to do something he doesn’t want to, but he is motivated by the reward or praise he thinks he will receive. He may even agree that God helped him to obey because he knows that is what his parents want to hear. This deceptive, self-serving attitude may eventually lead to the kind of deception that Ananias and Sapphira practiced. They were seeking praise and status without the sacrificial spirit of truly loving Christ. It was in this way that they lied to God.

As parents, you must not become complacent when your children give only outward compliance to your directions. If you put up with a grumbling, complaining spirit as the price for your children following your directions, you open the door to lying to God. God desires obedience from the heart, not the outward form of ritual sacrifice. (Amos 5:21-23; Isaiah 29:13) So, the mindset that says, “At least he took the garbage out, even though he moaned and groaned about it,” totally misses the point of loving God. This child is not being shepherded. Rather he is being encouraged to believe that God can be misled by mere outward compliance to his commands.

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Why Children Lie – Part 2

November 30, 2012 by Shepherd Press

Children tend to lie in two types of circumstances. We looked at the first reason in the last post. The response of immediately trying to deny responsibility comes naturally to us and to our children. Children are fearful of the consequences of their sin and lie to avoid them. Christ must be shown as the one who can bring peace to a fearful heart. It is vital that this pattern be addressed quickly and thoroughly. If it is not, then the habit lying will take root and become a means to other ends.

The next progression in lying is to lie when there is something to be acquired. This type of lie can range from trying to make someone else look bad to scheming to obtain something that cannot be had in a way that pleases God. In both situations the reason for the lie is the same—self-centeredness. But in this second type of lie, the reason for the lie moves beyond mere self-protection to the point of lying to achieve personal desires, even if it means hurting others. The story of Amnon illustrates this type of lie:

“Now Amnon had a friend named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. He asked Amnon, “Why do you, the king’s son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won’t you tell me?”

Amnon said to him, “I’m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”

”Go to bed and pretend to be ill,” Jonadab said. “When your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.’ ”

So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, “I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand.” II Samuel 13:3-6

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Why Children Lie

November 29, 2012 by Shepherd Press

When children lie it is often tempting to see the reason for the lie as a mystery. For example; “Why would my child lie about taking that toy from his brother, when it is so obvious that he did do just that?” Then, deepening the mystery, parents often ask, “Why would he make up such a far-fetched story to cover up his actions? The lie and cover up seem so illogical and unnecessary.” Thus, parents sometimes tend to treat the problem as one of logic and intelligence; they puzzle over why their children would lie. Scripture solves the mystery. Children are born liars. When we sin, we lose the ability to be logical. We are blinded by self-interest (Proverbs 4:19).

Lying is the extension of a self-centered nature. Children tend to lie in two types of circumstances. First, they lie when they fear a consequence so much they will do anything to avoid it, e.g., punishment for hitting. Second, children tend to lie when there is something they desire, and they see lying as the best way to get it; e.g., I am angry with my brother, so I will make up something to make him look bad. In both situations the reason for the lie is the same—a self-centered viewpoint.

Children lie because they fear exposure. They think their thoughts and doubts are hidden, and a lie is the best way to solve the problem. However, nothing is hidden from God.

Lying is an indication that children are much more self-aware than they are often given credit for. It is compelling evidence of their true heritage: original sin. Children don’t have to be taught to lie, it comes naturally.

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