“I’ve totally forgiven him. I really have. But, I’m just so angry. Why did I have to endure that pain for so many years?”
She continued looking me right in the eye, insisting that she had forgiven her husband (who had humbly asked for forgiveness) while recounting his many infractions.
It goes both ways. Husbands may not be as vocal, but years can pass after we’ve told ourselves and everyone else that we have forgiven, while keeping the situation — whatever it was — as fresh in our minds as the day it happened, even years later.
We’re really good at deceiving ourselves, aren’t we? Sure, we’ve forgiven but, when it comes to remembering grievances, elephants have nothing on husbands and wives. Our memories aren’t just good, they’re more secure than a maximum security prison. If there’s a safe, secure place where grievances will never be lost or tarnished, it’s in the memory prison of a wounded, unforgiving heart where they are kept for instant display.
And, that’s just how Satan likes it — wives and husbands forever keeping in easy reach past grievances that, when brought up yet again, destroy closeness, openness, and joy in marriage.
[Read the rest of the article at The Time-Warp Wife.]